pressing pause on my career

 y'all. this one was one that early 2020 lindsay would not have anticipated. 6 months ago, i turned in my resignation just a couple months shy of marking 8 years since i had started at my company. EIGHT! 

i'm officially a stay at home mom. without delving into the specifics, the primary reason was for my kids. i knew that i wouldn't be able to return to the same levels of productivity, dependability and reliability, and availability. these are things that are more or less required to succeed in our line of business, and i could not foresee myself feeling confident in returning to an environment where i had these (among other) self-imposed expectations of myself and be able to maintain my previously established rapport. so. after many discussions with my family, friends, and colleagues, i decided that leaving would be the best for me at this time.

now that my kids are a few months along into their first year of preschool, it's been an adjustment. i'm finally feeling able to accomplish things that i've been putting off -- like basic chores 😬, organizing my house, coming back to this blog, among other things. i've been trying to better allocate my time by planning my week and days for what i want to accomplish. i've been catching up on some video games. i've been meal planning -- more on this at a later time. and on the flip side, at least one of us has been sick like every other week since. so we've been staying home, at doctor's appointments or televisits, it's been kind of crazy. i know it's all for the better for our immune systems since we haven't really been out and about much, but it kind of sucks not being able (or well enough) to accomplish stuff.

in other news, paul changed companies a few months ago. he was at his previous company for 5-6 years or so. seems like it's been a nice change for him, and his new office is a lot closer to our house.

anyway, this has been what's up and we'll see how i'm feeling down the line about returning to the workforce. but for now, i am on a much needed break. ~Lindsay

3 years

 y'all. it's been over 3 years since my last post. i'm feeling particularly inspired tonight, so here's a quick update and general plans for direction of this blog. 

the primary reason for this post is that i didn't want my next post to come as a surprise whenever it is that i'm ready to type and publish it. often times, it's cathartic to type something out and not send (or in this case, submit) it, to be able to further review and refine your thoughts before making it "permanent".

yes, i'm still here! 2 kiddos later, and constantly both mentally and physically exhausted. more on that in a future blog post......maybe? i'm at the point that i'm no longer making these kinds of promises. i have a backlog of saved posts that i started before #1 was born, and i'm not sure what i want to do with them, if i even left myself enough notes on what i wanted to write about. 💁 as far as the future of this blog, i think with the many life changes since my last post, there will definitely be a shift in content. kids definitely take up a good part of your life and change your habits. that being said, i'll probably still post on an erratic schedule, with content being related to either what they're up to (no, this will not become like a "family channel" type of thing), products or stuff i'm really liking or doing, and maybe more cooking-related stuff. who knows.

as stated before, this blog is and has always been for fun as a side project and is something i delve into during my free time. in stating this, i will make ui adjustments as i please. i am a web developer too, ya know! (when i have the time to do so, i will be making some necessary changes..soon-ish.)

my instagram does work. my blog widget (on the right) is currently blank as there are currently no posts there yet. several months back, i made a decision to create a new handle for my personal use (for my prior account) and have a new account separate for blog use. thus, my pre-existing handle @lindsaydamodel is indeed still mine, but for blog use only. posts there will probably be like stuff i'm loving, influenster stuff (this will very likely be the bulk of it...), and i guess other random blog-related stuff. 🤷 to be honest, i haven't figured out what i want the first post there to be yet, so i haven't done anything with it. it will be some sort of introductory type post that will direct people here, just don't know what photo or caption i want just yet. (no. for the last time- i'm not seeking assistance with SEO. i'm ok with being under the radar. this. blog. is. for. fun.)

anyway, hope everyone's doing well and until next time! ~Lindsay

third trimester: thoughts and reflections

hi guys! the end is in sight! we're officially 39 weeks along, which is considered full term, and i figured that i should probably get this post up sooner than later, right? anyway, hope that this is helpful! ~Lindsay

shots! shots! shots!
i had to get 2 shots, one was RhoGam because my blood type is Rh negative and we think paul is positive. this shot is to ensure no issues occur if the baby's blood type is positive and our blood mixes. depending on baby's blood type, i'll be getting a second dose after delivery. yay~. the second shot that i had to get is Tdap, which is for a few different things, but most importantly whooping cough (the P). that way, i'd have immunity, and the baby will have some resistance until he needs to get his own.

third ultrasound
a few weeks ago, we were measuring a bit small so the doctor ordered another ultrasound to make sure we there were no issues with growth, etc. turns out, we're just little because i'm petite too and everything's fine. they gave us an idea of how he's measuring and about how much he'll be when he's out. what was cool about this round though was that he was positioned in such a way that the tech was able to show us his face! so neat!

movements
a lot of people mention getting jabbed in the ribs and such, but i never felt that. any time i'd feel movement, it was either my belly being stretched out or tiny limbs poking out in places...or what i'd equate to a small animal putting all of their weight onto one spot my pelvis. i'm not sure if he was sideways and facing the same side the whole time, but every time he'd press on my pelvis, it was 90% of the time on one side in about the same spot. also occasionally, i'd have a little trouble breathing because something was pushing up against my sternum, but once i'd poked at him some, he'd move away.
toward the beginning of the trimester, not so much the past month or so, he was waking up with my alarm clock. not sure if it was the sound or if me rousing would wake him. in recent weeks, he's usually not moving about until about 30 minutes or so after i get up and moving. otherwise, the whole time, he's been perked up throughout various (but fairly consistent) times in the day. on a couple occasions, like paul's office christmas party and a two day training i had recently, this guy was up basically the whole time. which was crazy.

body changes, sleep, aches and pains
never in my life did i have heartburn before about 2 months ago. and acid re-flux was nearly non-existent too. but omg, it was definitely there and real. they tell you to sit upright for a couple hours after eating each time. but that one night i had heartburn super bad, it didn't start hurting until a few hours after eating and lasted for several hours. it was the worst, especially since i didn't have any antacids yet and most places nearby were already closed for the night.
i did have a few headaches here and there in months 7&8. one of them was probably because it's a side effect of RhoGam, and it lasted like 4 days. other occasions were probably work-related, one of those lasted about 4 days as well. i still appreciate that these were headaches rather than migraines!
i don't really know how belly stretch marks even work out exactly, but i haven't seen any (i have a ton other places from growth spurts). supposedly if you grow fairly steadily, they won't be as bad, but that'll remain to be seen once i start shrinking back down after baby's here. also, apparently by now, a decent proportion of people's belly buttons pop out (if you have an innie prior) by now, and mine hasn't. it's been incredibly close, but it's like nah.
in recent weeks, i've been having a lot of pelvic pain and cramps. the cramping is being attributed to possible braxton-hicks, and the pelvic pain is just par for the course as this guy makes his descent. the pelvic pain is pretty tough because it is incredibly uncomfortable to move around. especially from sitting or laying positions, and less so when walking--but i suppose my lower back has been otherwise hurting too, lol. i do have a waist support band, but this kid knows instantly whenever i put it on and moves around, pushing on it the entire time.

baby classes, lactation consult
we took a few baby classes through our hospital, as well as the tour of the birth center. the baby classes were all directed by nurses and were primarily videos and powerpoints, with time for any questions or discussions. the classes seemed to have been all created by the same company and had a decent bit of overlap...but i suppose they've got to reinforce stuff some kind of way and people might not take all of the classes. the breastfeeding class and lactation consult were probably the ones we got the most use out of. the class was very informative and gave us a better idea of what to expect. and the lactation consult was during one of my appointments with my usual gyn nurse that i was seeing before my ob. and she more or less gave us the one on one time and to see how things worked and felt with a doll. there'll be a lactation nurse around after delivery for the real deal though.

nursing clothes
i'm super sad that the local maternity store is closing, but i can still shop their website. i guess ecommerce is still killing the brick and mortar clothing industry. personally, i like having the option of returning or exchanging clothes in the store, especially since it gives me the opportunity to peruse their wares in person and try them on if needed. anyway, that all aside, i've been living in nursing camisole tops the past couple weeks to get used to them. they're pretty comfy paired with a nice sweater!

maternity photos
a few weeks ago, we went to a nearby park and took photos. i'm not sure when she'll be finished editing them to send them over, since she mentioned she was already backlogged..but from what we saw on her viewfinder, they came out pretty nice!

second trimester: thoughts and reflections

hi guys!!! guess who wanted to put this post up months ago, forgot, got busy, and yeah..it didn't happen? 🙋 unfortunately, i have several other posts that i also wanted to put up sooner, but i think for the sake of things, it's not going to happen til after the baby's here. the good thing though... i left myself some prompts on this post as reminders..because guess what! i did kind of otherwise forget how the second trimester went. 😅 right now, i'm about 38 weeks along, so it's anyone's guess when this guy decides to make his appearance! anyway, onto how things went! ~Lindsay

the announcement
i really wanted to wait til after the first trimester was over before making the announcement. i didn't think we'd be at risk, but i still wanted to wait and be sure. we ended up making the announcement during birthday week celebrations (my husband, sister-in-law, and mother-in-law all have birthdays within the span of a week) as far as letting our immediate family know. after we told them, then it went to friends and extended family, and then socials.
i think the best thing with the announcement was feeling relieved that i no longer had to hide the fact that i had morning sickness all the time. i told my manager pretty early on, but my coworkers gave me the like, 'yeah..we knew something was up but weren't going to say anything.' so that was cool.

appetite and weight gain
the morning sickness finally went away sometime in september or early october, so the 4ish month mark. i was finally able to eat basically anything again and larger quantities -- close to, but not quite my usual portions. i still haven't had anything with bbq sauce since, but i was able to be around it without feeling sick anymore. so that was cool. it took me another month or so, but i was able to gain back the weight i lost with the morning sickness (~4 lbs) and steadily gained about a pound per week throughout the rest of the second trimester.

feeling movements
somewhere between week 18 - 19 i started noticing major movements. i can only attribute it to having a matcha frapp in the late afternoon, because boy, did this guy not let me sleep that night. pretty much for 4 hours straight he was moving like crazy. it went basically from feeling nothing to me being completely aware.

second ultrasound and gender reveal
the second ultrasound was around week 20, where we found out what we were having. the tech said he was very easy to get all the measurements, etc that we needed, and we also got to see him yawn a couple times. that weekend, we bought an outfit to reveal the gender to the family. a week or two later (despite a ton of extended family pestering), we finally did the reveal photo for the socials. my coworker had mentioned a pumpkin inside of a pumpkin..since it was october of course! so i got to carve my first pumpkin by myself (usually my mom did it), and i painted a smaller one to put inside.

glucose test
toward the end of week 23, i had an appointment and we did my glucose test. honestly, i'm not really sure why people say the glucose drink is super nasty. it does kinda suck that you have to chug like 10oz? in 5 minutes then wait an hour before they draw your blood for the test. they gave me the orange one, which really does taste like a non-carbonated orange drink. maybe i just have a sweet tooth and the taste didn't bother me? thankfully, we passed!

body changes
there were some definite body changes throughout the second trimester, i got to a point where i was visibly showing (for people who didn't know what i looked like on the regular). around the beginning of the second trimester, i got myself a maternity body pillow because sleeping became uncomfortable, and i tend to sleep on my back and i needed to get used to sleeping on one side or the other for my organs' sake. this did cause a bit of discomfort and slight pain as i had to learn the feels of this new positioning. sometime in the second trimester, i started using belly lotion/butter products on the regular. we live in a pretty humid climate, so i hate putting lotion on whenever i don't need to. the stickiness. ew. but this is basically daily now, both to keep moisturized and the hope to reduce any stretch marks. toward the middle or end of the trimester, i started having trouble emptying my bladder fully. which sucked. so i ended up having to lift my belly or continually reposition myself to make sure i was done. ugh. as far as my skin, it cleared up during this time, probably with the change in hormones again, and it was back to about how it was when i was on the pill. i saw incredibly few problem spots, if at all during this time, which was super awesome!

collective haul - random other stuff

heya! so i didn't really know how to categorize this one, so i just kinda threw all these items together into one post.. also, i've been playing a lot of video games over the past year or so (whenever i actually have time) since i built my new computer. i've been predominantly playing games on either Steam or the Switch, and since games on steam are digital, i haven't ever really talked about them much on here before. the recent favorite, which i haven't played for about a month now and need to finish...is code vein! ~Lindsay

1. my job involves a lot of travel, but thankfully the projects i've been on require little to no travel. that being said, one of my coworkers brought back a bag of this strawberry milk candy from california and it's the best! it's like a lozenge, but with crunchy layers inside. yum! (ordered from amazon)

1. these charmed aroma bath bombs were pretty nice. the cauldron took some time to fully fizz because it was mostly enclosed, but the scents were super nice. the rings inside were really pretty too. i can't recall which of the opal rings came from which product, but the black and pink one came out of the cauldron. these bath bombs came in various sizes of your choosing, and also came with codes to confirm their value on the site. i think the total supposed value of these was around $50-$75, which is interesting considering how costume-y they feel. regardless, i like them and wear them on occasion.

1. it's been a real real long time since i made a CBV order! since A is into the whole scentsy thing, i wanted to get her a few scent shots to try, and i happened to place my order during a wax freebie event. i had to get my all time favorites - tiffany d and tiffany d 2.0, and i've been eyeing the mermaid and unicorn candles, and i got some mini jelly jars of japanese cherry blossom and birds of paradise.
2. i went to the local mistletoe market recently and among gifts, bought some stuff for me, right? anyway, i got some caramel corn and cinnamon sugar roasted almonds --yum! and i got two bars of soap and a bath bomb to try. i also came across a husband-wife duo that were selling candles with gemstones inside. they have an etsy shop called TheLotusApothecary. these guys really hooked me on the scents, moreso than the gems, lol. so i got the prosperity and protection candles.

collective haul - random beauty

hi guys! so this is all of the beauty stuff that didn't really feel like it fit in with the other posts, so it's got it's own dedicated post! several things in here are from indie brands, which is cool! ~Lindsay

1. skindinavia -- somehow accidentally ordered their primer spray, so i've got that now to try!
2. sydney grace -- i haven't really decided how i feel about their loose pigments, these are comforting lights and pistol. the texture is a bit weird, they're fairly chunky/flaky but somehow lay smoothly with pressure. it's best to apply these with your finger. the shadow singles here are twisted shifter, go for it, winter garden, and san jose.

1. these are some random drugstore finds..
2. ordered the tea tree & honey masks from amazon, and the others in that photo were from nordstrom rack
3. the last photo was like a try-me box from walmart.

1. i'm pretty sure the photo on the left was a macy's order. i was probably using one of the coupons from the beauty boxes, and they were having a freebie bag with your lancome order at the time.
2. i've never ordered during the nordstrom anniversary sale before now. i figured the clinique and lancome sets were a pretty good deal. and i had to see what all the hype about these barefoot dreams products is... so i got their open cardigan sweater. it is super soft and fairly heavy, but i don't know if that really justifies their full price tag.

1. so, as you probably saw in my empties post, i ordered from tati's halo beauty line a few times. as mentioned before, i went through a little over 4 bottles and had to stop because i'm pregnant. but as far as whether or not it worked well, i still am undecided because for part of the time i was on it, i was also on the pill.
2. tati had a dedicated video about the super sponge and i was intrigued and preordered it. i think it was around $20, so not terribly bad. the product is kind of interesting. the flat part is not covered in silicone and the rest is. you wet it, like other blenders..through the bottom obviously since there's no silicone there, and go! i've used it a couple of times and am undecided about it. typically when i use these kinds of blenders, i use the flat side to apply my foundation all over, then use the sides and point to get corners or finer areas. so the silicone aspect of it didn't really do much for me. when i did actually try to use the side for my whole face, i wasn't all that impressed by the way my foundation applied. i'll have to eventually try this again. also, the scrubber sorta but not really helps with washing.

1. i wanna say all of these were ipsy bundles.

1. after going through my first bottle of the good molecules super peptide serum that came in my lucky bag, i had to try more from the brand!
2. at the moment, i'm working my way through the cleansing balm sample. it's ok, but i like drunk elephant's better (and clinique's is second).

1. with all of the craziness that ensued from the internet breaking, etc. i somehow managed to get a palette bundle from beautylish with no problems. i'm kinda annoyed that the diet shane lip balm was only available on the jeffree star website, but it gives more more time to play with these two palettes and wait til the restock in case i want to order something else from the brand. these are my first experience with jeffree star cosmetics and i'm quite pleased. i started following shane's series out of pure curiosity into the beauty world, and especially learning some of the beauty business sides of things, considering that i have a business degree and work for a large corporation. anyway, that aside, for several days after the reveal, i was on the fence about whether or not i should get these because i tend to lean more neutral because of work, but i went ahead and bit the bullet. and i'm pleasantly surprised how work wearable these are. obviously not the whole of each palette is, but you get what i mean. so far, i've only done a few looks with them, but i really like them. the mini controversy is a bit harder to hold on its own for me because there's not enough neutral in there, though it is quite fun. the conspiracy palette on the other hand, i can see myself getting a lot more use out of because it has a completely neutral look along the top, plus two rows of pops of color to play with, which several can be made work appropriate.
2. as i sit here typing this, i knew i had a velour lipstick before! agh. based on what i'd said about it, i think i liked the formula but not the color. maybe i should order some....

collective lush hauls

hey guys! it's been a while since i'd made lush purchases, hasn't it? usually i don't get too much because i know i'll walk out of there spending like $100..so i try to aim for $50 or less. 😉 ~Lindsay

1. i can't remember why, but i'd actually placed an order on the website instead of going into the store for this one...
1. the shower bombs kind of confuse me and aren't anything like shower tablets of other brands i've previously used. they smelled great, but i won't be repurchasing them.
2. these naked body washes are quite interesting, but are super melty under wet conditions. also the black "bottle cap" part is really hard and i had to scrape it off.

1. this was one of the few trips paul actually went into the store with me. it was about time to get some new massage bars, and he's the one that likes them more than me, so we opted for a favorite-- tender is the night, and we got the banana to try.

1. this orangutan soap is super cute and for a good cause. i liked the citrusy sent it had. i didn't particularly like that it melted down a lot faster than their other soaps though.
2. i've used some of their solid scrubs before, but scrubee wasn't really for me. technically this one's an exfoliating body butter, but i just don't like the oily feeling.

there was another bath bomb purchase that i forgot to take photos before using them, but i'd gotten a dragon's egg, intergalactic, the comforter, and tender is the night.

1. got a few new to me products here, haven't gotten a chance to use these yet, aside from the outback mate soap, which i really like!

collective ulta hauls

ulta hauls time~! there'll be a few more beauty-related haul posts after this, so stay tuned! ~Lindsay

1. these fizz & bubble bath bombs were kinda underwhelming. i think the sandalwood vanilla was the best of the 3.
2. this ulta bubble bar and bath rocks were incredibly lame. i ended up using the whole of each in 2 individual baths and was still underwhelmed.
3. oh! look who missed a seph-ulta photo! as mentioned previously, i got this charlotte tilbury lipstick sample in pillow talk. i like it, but i don't wear it very often.

1. can't have too many sheet masks! 😏
2. i think this was my first time trying the hask wine hair masks? anyway, they both work really well, but i have a preference for the cabernet sauvignon scent. i wish they sold this in tubs instead of pouches.

1. i think the photo on the left is a sample bag with purchase that i'd gotten. the burt's bees shadow trio was only ok.

1. this is my first experience using hard wax beads as opposed to microwavable pots, and i liked it. the cotton candy scent isn't super prominent, and the wax does it's job. when mixed together, it makes a really pretty lavender shade.
2. this wakse melter pot is a complete waste of money. i bought it thinking that since it's silicone, it'll be easy cleanup. well, yes it is, but it doesn't retain heat. so unless you plan to wax in the kitchen by the microwave, don't bother with this. i ended up buying (and not picturing ever 😐) a wax warmer and empty metal can from sally's, and that's working better for me.
3. i made another aromaleigh order here.. don't remember all the shades i'd gotten, but i think she was having a sale or something.....

1. gudetama everything! so cute!
2. the urban decay mini honey palette is so good. it's super versatile and has everything i need to get a look!
3. i bought these retractable real techniques brushes because of emilynoel. at 6 months along, i'm interested in anything baby prep related, and these were in her hospital makeup bag video!

1. i bought these slippers on a whim, and i love them. they're so cozy!

collective sephora hauls - the other stuff

heya. since i had so many sephora purchases involving drunk elephant, i decided to make this second post for all the other stuff i got from sephora over the past year. enjoy! ~Lindsay

1. most of the things pictured on the left are actually from ulta but ya know..
1. the peach & lily good acids toner is a nice one. i really need to use it more often.
2. the nooni applebutter lip mask is interesting. it is super thick, but melts down to a consistency similar to vaseline. it comes with a scooper.
2. i think this sephora play! smarts bag was my first experience with the hum glow sweet glow gummies. like i said before, i'm not sure if they did a whole lot, but they did taste good.
3. i had a mini of this touch in sol lipstick duo in penny and i really liked it, so i finally got a full size. i think they might be phasing these out, or at least this shade.

1. i don't entirely remember what prompted me to make another aromaleigh purchase, and for whatever reason, i never got around to swatching these for a photo. i got pigments in wild soliude, crystal fretting, lord of the dead, and depths of erebus. and the magu highlighter sample is really pretty. i want to say i liked 3 out of the 4, but i haven't used them in a while to remember.

1. i have no idea what was going on at the time, but i was like on a supplement kick or something. i really liked having this wellness try-me kit for all these different products. i passed along the coffee because i can't drink it, and i think i tried pretty much everything else in there.
1. i really liked the 8 greens tablets. they're fizzy tablets and tasted really good.
2. the vital proteins collagen peptides tasted pretty good, i mixed it with milk.
3. i've tried several of the moon juice samples and they all taste weird. nothing that you mix them into will taste remotely good. maybe a fruit smoothie...maybe.
4. the super elixir from welleco worked wonders. why it's no longer available at sephora baffles me. it is ridiculously expensive for what it is, but it cleared up a migraine within an hour and that is magic.
5. the other supplements pictured (aside from the hum glow sweet glow and beauty chef hydration booster) i haven't had the opportunity to try yet.. again, pregnant.
2. i want to say i got the sephora eye favorites kit to give most as parts of gifts.. but i did keep a few things.
3. i liked this peace out kit. i've been eyeing their other products since i like the acne dots, but didn't want to commit to full sizes of those yet. overall, they were ok and i'm glad i tried them in this set instead.
4. this pat mcgrath eye ecstasy kit was a great deal! the palette is super pretty, but can't hold on it's own which kinda sucks. there's no transition shade in there unless you like it super smoky. i really liked the mascara included! and i passed along the glitter.

1. i went ahead and got a mini of the farsali unicorn essence. i talked about it some in my empties post, and i don't fully understand the hype with it. it is good as a primer, but i'm not so sure about skincare. i might repurchase it.
2. whatever the reason that prompted me to make the aromaleigh order was also why i placed a mac order. anyway, they were giving away certain full sized lipsticks with orders, so i went ahead. i've been using the blue brown pigment a lot!
3. this is the sublime eye ecstasy palette from pat mcgrath. it is super pretty, but is only metallics.

1. guess who has more bum bum cream than they know what to do with? 🙋 i have 2 unopened 8oz containers and now this. buuut i needed it because of the surfboard scooper, and i got it during the rouge sale. 😉